Last steps to the cross - Good Friday Reflection

There He stood.
Arms and back lacerated. Blood flowing from every inch of his body.

Yeshua, disfigured. Unidentifiable.

Struggling with every last ounce of strength and determination to sustain the jagged wooden beams across his back. His face, torn and blood splotched, briefly lifted. His eyes, nearly blinded by the blood dripping down from thorns, strained to make out the shape of a craggy hill. Finally, Golgotha was growing nearer.
Just a few... more... steps.

His arms, soaked with sweat and blood, clung to the cross as His precious instrument of redemption- His only way to save us.

Half-dried blood clung to his face, hair, and what was left of His scraggly beard. Tears stung his swollen eyes as he recognized the bitter taste of blood even in his teeth. He looks to the sky, and dreads that moment.

The moment He will feel the full weight of it- the inconceivable burden. All of the rage, the disease, the depravity, the loneliness, the ache of humanity. The wrath of God contained in his one body. He would drink the cup.

The thought brings a new wave of anguish over his throbbing heart, the mental trauma more fierce than even the pain of his gaping wounds. The horror of crucifixion hangs over him. His humanity dreads the savage darkness taunting him, as he takes one step after another. And yet He looks into the angry and frightened faces around Him, lost lambs in need of the Shepherd. This is why He is here. He closes His eyes and sees them, this raging sea of humanity. Even in his misery, compassion floods his being as he keeps on...step by step... to Golgotha.

My Father... He breathes. Help me make it all the way. Not my will, but yours be done.

The prayer is enough to sustain Him the rest of the way. He lurches forward as he stumbles over stones he cannot see on the way up. Leather and metal shards rip through his back again as he is commanded to get up. Yet it is love, not lashes, that compel Him to get on his feet, to carry the cross all the way. Jeers and mockery fill his ears as he struggles again to lift the beam.

Just three more steps... now, two... just one. He sighs, utterly exhausted. It’s almost done. Just a few more hours... He drops the beams and musters his last ounce of strength to complete the final stage of the redemption plan. He collapses. All goes black for a moment. Demonic faces haunt him. Exhaustion assails him.

Oh God, give me strength to finish the mission.

Strength comes. Yeshua comes to, as saliva splatters his face. Brash insults fall on his ears as he inhales the foul stench of the centurion's breath. It's all He can do to crawl... inch by inch... to the cross. He desperately gropes to feel the wooden beams beneath Him. The blood and sweat cloud his vision. He feels the jagged surface graze his arm.

Here it is. It's almost finished.

He breathes deeply for strength, and knows that soon breath will be impossible to find.

Almost relieved, He attempts to lay His body down across the beams. But a sudden brutal kick sends him sprawling. He tortuously picks his body up to lay it down again. One limb at a time, he settles himself onto the wood. He is ready. His arms stretch out, palms open to receive the nails.

He is too exhausted to even flinch as the nails pierce his hands and feet. Deeper and deeper the nails are driven, the hammers pound. He squeezes his eyes shut. He sees the faces again. The faces of the guilty. The ones He audaciously loves. His inner eyes gaze in wonder on the faces of the redeemed, the faces of children who would become the righteousness of God because He was about to become sin itself.... They are worth it. Just a few more hours.

He moans as he is raised up. For six hours his legs and shoulders excruciatingly take turns between hoisting himself up, and gasping for air.... The One who breathed life into Adam's nostrils now fought for breath. The darkness is overwhelming; the heaviness is suffocating him. His body is breaking. He surrenders His heart to be broken too.

Vulnerable to the ones He created, He gives one last passionate cry. The intermittent rising and falling of his chest finally slows. He relinquishes the fight. He is still.

It is finished.

I offered my back to those who beat me, my cheeks to those who pulled out my beard; I did not hide my face from mocking and spitting. . .He was led like a lamb to the slaughter . . For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken . . .After the suffering of His soul, He will see the light of life and be satisfied. . .my righteous servant will justify many, and He will bear their iniquities . . . because He poured out His life unto death. . .and made intercession for the transgressors.

Isaiah 50 and 53

I will not be contained

Recently I was having my morning time with Jesus and seemingly out of nowhere, I heard Him say to me, 

"You are not created to be CONTAINED. You are created to be a CONTAINER for my glory."


I had to dig into this to find out what He meant! Curious, I looked up the definition for each word.

Container, according to Merriam-Webster, is "a receptacle (such as a box or jar) for holding goods", and synonyms include holder, receptacle, and vessel.


To contain something:

1:   To keep within limits: such as

a: RESTRAIN, CONTROLb: CHECK, HALT

(https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/)
So what does it mean to be contained? 
In this context, I feel like it means to be held back or restrained in a way that is counteractive to our freedom in Christ. When Jesus spoke the word "contained", I thought of how we sometimes try to contain our passion or excitement in an effort to look dignified or "put together". We put limits on how much we let God overflow in us. I know I soften put an unhealthy restraint on how much I act on the gifts and calling God has put on my life. It's like I'm waiting to magically "arrive" or suddenly know what I'm doing with my life, like I need to know all the answers before I can fully live "uncontained" the way Christ has called me to live.
Then I came across this verse: 2 Timothy 2:21 "...You are to be a pure container of Christ and dedicated to the honorable purposes of your Master, prepared for every good work that he gives you to do."
Wow, how beautiful to be called a "pure container of Christ"!
I also love the amplified version of this!
 2 Timothy 2:20-21 AMP "... He will be a vessel for honor, sanctified [set apart for a special purpose and], useful to the Master, prepared for every good work."
How glorious, and what an honor to be created to be a vessel of honor for the Master's use! I so want to be cleansed of anything I'm containing that is NOT of Christ, so that I can be filled with Him and set apart as a vessel for His glory! 
But, I also don't want to JUST be a pretty container that is full of Jesus, although that is great! We are not created to hold on to what God has put inside us. We are not made to sit on the shelf collecting dust, just being a beautiful vessel. It's what the container holds that makes it precious! We are designed not to be contained, but to continually receive and pour out the glory He has hidden inside us. It's the anointing of heaven, the beautiful fragrance of Jesus that changes the atmosphere around us. 
How often do we allow ourselves to just come undone and release what God has put into us? When we're young it feels so easy to just let go. No one expects us to "have it all together" yet. It's normal for young people to be zealous, to show their emotions freely. Then, for some reason, when we enter "adult life", it's like there is this expectation to hold it together. It's as if maturity is defined by how calm and collected we are. But I'm pretty sure that's not how God defines maturity.
Romans 8:14 " The mature children of God are those who are moved by the impulses of the Holy Spirit."
What?! According to God, maturity is when we are MOVED by his impulses, not when we are restrained!
Several years ago I was leading the song "How He loves" at the church I was serving in at the time, there was a moment in the song when I just came unglued. 
I don't know what happened; all I know is that I had a revelation. It was just a small glimpse of the magnitude of the love of God, and I was overwhelmed. I just started weeping and fell to my knees and could not continue to lead the song. This was in front of the whole church, with everyone looking at me probably wondering what in the world was wrong with me. Thankfully, the worship leader who was co-leading with me covered for me. He took over singing while I just sat there and cried for the duration of the song, pouring my love back on Jesus. After the service, a few people looked at me oddly and asked me if I was okay. 
I wanted to scream, I AM MORE THAN OKAY. I AM WRECKED BY JESUS' LOVE AND YOU CAN BE TOO!" 
But, I don't think they wanted to be wrecked. In fact, I don't think most people want to be wrecked. When you are passionate about Jesus, it will always look like foolishness to those who aren't passionate about Jesus. It looks horrifying, and humiliating. But really, it's the MOST joyful thing that can happen to you. It reminds me of David dancing before the Lord, saying he would become even more undignified than this (2 Samuel 6). It reminds me of the woman who poured her precious jar of costly oil out on Jesus' feet in a lavish expression of love (Luke 7).
When you are a container for His glory, you can NOT be contained! We were made to be filled up and spilled out. Over and over and over again. We follow the pattern of Christ, who came specifically for the purpose of pouring His life out. 
We are created to lose our lives. This alone IS true life. This alone is what truly satisfies the human soul.
The reality is, it's uncomfortable to come undone in front of everyone, or even to come undone by yourself. But Heaven honors the one who overflows with abandon to the King who is worthy.
This is who I want to be.
I don't want to live "put together" anymore. That's boring. I want the REAL life! When I see the face of Jesus, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be reserved or held back in ANY way. In that moment, I won't give one thought to what people thought of me! So, I might as well live that way now!
So do you want to come unglued again with me? Let's be the crazy people of God who don't care what the world thinks. Let's be unashamed to fall apart in passionate love for Jesus. Let's overflow and splash His love onto everyone we come in contact with! 
It's WAY more fun to live this way! But most importantly, Jesus is worthy of what He paid for. Let's live uncontained!
P.S. I wanted to share two songs that I LOVE that really speak to this! Enjoy!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hf04GoCCVQg 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Fao_mc5RTo

Christ, the Perfect Worshiper

John 4:23-24 [The Message] 

It’s who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.”

Luke 7:37-39

"And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner...brought an alabaster flask of ointment,  and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment."

Worshiping Jesus is amazing. I love being in His presence, because no matter how much you love on Him, He always loves on you even more!

But leading others in worship too can be a real struggle sometimes! (Bet you didn't know that. ;)) 

First of all, you must make yourself so vulnerable. Think about it. The way that you sing or play, the level of your skill, the style of your worship, and your mistakes when trying to play an instrument and sing (or speak) at the same time, are all laid out there for everyone to see and hear! And at the same time you're supposed to be helping them worship! (And I'm like "How on earth am I supposed to do this, God?!")  It's like opening wide the door to your vulnerabilities and private life with God, and letting everyone glimpse it in hopes that it will somehow lead them deeper into God's heart. (Haha, at least that's how I feel about it.) 

Secondly, sometimes you get caught up in wanting so much for the church to experience God that you eclipse your need to worship for yourself, out of a place of rest and intimate connection with Jesus. This usually leads to worshiping from performance, and worshiping out of the pressure to make people "feel something" during the worship set on Sunday. This is where Jesus found me this past year, and began doing some major healing in  me.

Often, when getting ready to lead worship on a Sunday, I would think,"THIS will be the Sunday that I will really get it right! THIS Sunday, people will really get set free and be blessed by my worship, and I won't hold back and Jesus can really move through me." 

How wrong was that?! I really hate that I used to think that way, but I'm just being honest because I know I'm not the only person who has ever struggled with this! I always wondered, "Did my worship measure up today? Was it good enough for God, and good enough for the church? Did people really feel God's presence?" I would measure how good I did that day by people's response, or my feelings. Which was really dangerous, and put me into bondage in my thinking! 

The good news is, it didn't end there. :) 

Thankfully, Jesus finally brought me to a place where I asked myself, "Is worship leading, or just worshiping, really about getting it "right"? Or is it about  me letting go and trusting that Jesus will get it right, no matter what mistakes I may make, because HE is the One that is really good, not me?"

Then it finally started to click on the inside. 

Jesus never fails. 

I do. 

But, that is okay because His grace is SO much bigger than my lack, my failures and insecurities! 

In Christ, I am free from the pressure to be good enough. Because HE is good enough. And HE lives inside of ME! What crazy grace! Christ is the Mediator, the Center of it all! Jesus is at the right hand of the throne of God right now, constantly reveling in the goodness of God, and constantly bringing me before the Father. So when I stay intimately connected with Jesus, I am automatically reveling in God's goodness too! Jesus is the only One who really has this worship thing down. 

He is the Ultimate Worshiper, because knows the Father better than any of us! 

This is the root of real worship. It's in completely losing sight of myself as I gaze on His goodness, fixing my eyes on who HE is in me, and for me! It's in letting my need for perfection go because already have Perfection. Christ is my Perfection.

Because Christ is my Perfection, I also don't have to worry about my worship being good enough for the church. Yes I want people to be blessed through my worship. But if that is my primary focus, I'm wrong. Making the church feel all warm and fuzzy so that they will worship  is not my responsibility. You alone choose how much of God you want to experience. When I am leading worship, though it is my heart to bless you and I hope you are encouraged by my worship, I am not up there worshiping for you. I'm sorry, but I'm not. I am worshiping Jesus with my whole heart. 

I am loving on Him and adoring Him like no one else is in the room, just like the woman who interrupted a prestigious dinner party to wash Jesus' feet with her tears. To her, it was like she and Jesus were the only two in the room.

So, my first focus even before serving the church, will be loving and serving Jesus. 

And as I worship, the church will automatically encounter Jesus out of the overflow of my love for Him, because my focus is not on myself, but on Christ! The pressure is not on me. 

The only thing I need to do is lean into His grace, and breathe Him in. 

And when I do, He shows up every time. 

His presence comes when I worship like no one else is watching. 

I am a work in progress. There are still days when I feel completely inadequate and unworthy to lead worship. There are days I feel frazzled and distracted, and wonder if God can really use me right now because I just keep losing my focus and forgetting the Truth of who He is inside of me. 

Then, Jesus reminds me that it is not about my goodness or worthiness at all,  it is 

All

About

His.

And then I relax into His embrace, relinquish my need to perform and please people, and get on with worshiping beautifully, naturally, the way I was created to. And my prayer is that as my gaze is fixed on Him, the church's eyes will be fixed on Him too. So as I lead, I will worship from rest and intimacy with Him, and I hope that you follow me.

But even if you don't, I am going to delight in my Jesus. 

Nothing will hold me back anymore from being the worshiper I am created to be.

Because Christ is the Perfect Worshiper, and I am in Christ. That is all I need.

It's all about the Process

"In the process, in the waiting, you're making melodies over me.

And your presence is the promise, for I am a pilgrim on a journey....

Good shepherd of my soul, take my hand and lead me on."

(Shepherd, Amanda Cook)

       


 It is now almost five weeks since I returned home from South Africa. 

It's crazy how some things take a while to hit you. Going home was going to be difficult for all of us in different ways, but for the most part it would be difficult because we didn't know what was coming next for us, what the next step in life was. The Lord taught me so much in South Africa in regards to waiting on Him, resting in Him and being at peace about my future, and not knowing the next major step right away. I knew a few basic things, like returning to school to finish my bachelor's degree, but over all I had no idea what this next year looked like for me. I felt like I did really well adjusting the first three or so weeks of being home. I wasn't in a hurry for anything to happen like getting a job or a ministry opportunity; I was just resting and enjoying being in the moment, spending time with family. 
        
       But the past couple weeks it definitely started getting a lot harder to be in the moment and wait for the Lord to guide me to the next step. I sometimes get in a hurry and forget that  with the Lord, things happen through process. You must take the first step before He can show you the next. I don't know if it was just that the effects of being back in America long enough were finally hitting me, but it felt like the new peace and confidence, and everything I learned back in South Africa, was starting to wear off. Which caused me to panic and be frustrated with my life, myself, and pretty much everyone and everything around me. When your inner world isn't right, your outer world isn't right either. Especially during the Christmas season when everything is supposed to be about joy and peace but it's often really just a big chaotic hustle and bustle. I was losing my focus, forgetting that life is about people and relationships. Not projects and accomplishments. I often scurry straight to the urgent and skip right over the important. 

    So I usually freak out at myself a little when I feel myself slipping and losing focus, as if because I'm a Christian, I shouldn't be messing up. I should know exactly where I'm going and keep my focus straight the whole time. Because that's what good Christians are supposed to do. (You can laugh. ;)) Sometimes I try waaaaaay too hard to have it all together. The Lord knows that I often need a news flash that I'm still human, and He knows it! And He's okay with it. He knows I'm going to lose my focus, stumble, and forget what's really important sometimes. If I didn't stumble, I wouldn't need to lean into His arms every day. That's grace. He knows we're going to fail Him in some way, every single day. Yet He continually proves His faithfulness by walking us through the process. Three steps forward, two steps back. One step forward. One step back. Two steps forward. He knows better than we do that our journey is not going to be a perfect straight line leading to our destiny. It's a bumpy, narrow, sometimes rocky road. But He is walking with us every step of the way. When you are walking hand in hand with Jesus, He will not let you walk out of His will.  

I am often comforted by remembering that He has not left me to just figure out this life on my own. He's not up there waiting for me at the finish line saying, "Well, I hope you can figure out the way and make it up here!" No. Father God is waiting with outstretched arms at the finished line, with confidence that His Son will indeed lead us home in His perfect way. And Jesus, precious, faithful Jesus, is holding onto us, each step of the way. Whether the path is rocky, foggy, uphill, or downhill. He is committed to us, and He is committed to the process of helping us reach our destination. Our ultimate destination is Christ anyway, not achieving something in this life. Lately God has been bringing this verse to mind so much, and it is becoming one of my favorite verses in this season.

Philippians 1:6 

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:6 [The Message]

There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.

Praise God, He WILL complete the good work He started in us! He's not going to leave us hanging! We only see this one moment in time, but He sees the whole process, the beginning all the way to the end. He sees the beautiful finished masterpiece that you're going to be, and that you already are in His eyes. 

Sometimes I feel awkward and un-Christian as I flounder around trying to find the right path. But Jesus IS the right path. He keeps reminding me that as long as I've got Him and I'm seeking relationship with Him above all else, everything really will fall into place, whether it's job, school, ministry, finances, or relationships. It all lines up when we're living in the center of His will. I've seen it happen for me in the past, and He will do it again! He IS doing it again, even when we can't see!

Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Matthew 6:33 [The Message]

Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

So earlier this week and today I had been really unfocused, frantically  trying to make my life seem productive. I was moving fast and trying to do everything but not accomplishing much. I honestly and seriously did not feel like being still, getting in the Word and listening to His voice. I just wanted to DO something, to GO somewhere! But I've learned from past experience that this will only leave me more frustrated. So finally I made myself sit down for a few minutes, put a worship song on and just sat in His presence. He immediately put John 15:16 in my mind. I turned to it, and tears came as soon as I saw what it was. 

John 15:16

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you

He is so merciful, and kind! He knew exactly what I needed in that moment. 

He was saying, 

"I chose YOU my child, not the other way around. I'm the one who started this thing, and I'm going to be faithful to finish it. I know you really want to bear fruit for my glory, but I AM the One who had the idea to bring you into what I was doing in the first place! I know you're worried about losing what you learned in South Africa. But if I'm the one who did the work in you, don't you think that work will last? I AM the One bringing you through this process. So it's time to let go of your need to feel productive and figure everything out. Your productivity comes from being one with Me. You do your part of resting in relationship with me, and let me do my part of leading you. I promise I will not leave you on your own in this journey; we will cross that finish line together. I will NOT give up on you. Just stay close to me. Lean into my promises. And watch me faithfully lead you in paths of righteousness."

Oh, Jesus. He had done it again. His bold love hit me right where I needed it. 

Thank you, Father. Thank you that you are a God who knows exactly where we are in the process. And you don't get impatient or frustrated with us as we try and fail, and learn. It's not about getting it right all the time. It's about becoming closer with you every step. Thank you that you will be faithful to complete the good work you started in us. So Father, let us be faithful to continue seeking you one day at a time, walking with you in the joyful process of discovering the abundant life you have for us!

Well friends, it's been an intense, wonderful, crazy, emotional, amazing and life-changing three weeks here in Olievenhoutbosch! I feel like I have already learned so much that even if the trip ended now, I I would already be different when I go home. Yet we still have another leg of the adventure to experience as we travel to Capetown tomorrow! But as for Olievenhoutbosch...

Firstly, I will share what our basic day looked like. There's 11 people on my team and we all stayed at different host homes throughout the week. So our host families would drop us off at the church in the mornings and we would all pile into "Billiam" (What we affectionately call Hein's taxi van, which is the Afrikaans version of Balaam. So I can officially say I took a donkey to school every day. :)) and ride together to Olievenhoutbosch Christian school to work for the day!

During the mornings from about 8:15 to 10 we would assist the teachers in our assigned classrooms. I was placed with grade two, a sweet group of kids who I came to love very much. I helped the teacher, Ma'am Gladys make copies, grade assignments and tests, and helped kids one on one with their work. My favorite part was when I got to teach Bible stories a couple times. I love making the stories come alive and being dramatic, so it was quite fun and I'm pretty sure the kids loved it too. :)

I had 12 kids: Precious, Darren, Olwethu, Owethu, Mtkozisi, Brianna, Mpho #1, Mpho #2, Solomon, Brian, Mandisa, Sanele, and Brian.

Me with my class and Ma'am Gladys!

At 10 am we take a half hour break. Recess for the kids, tea and coffee time for the team and staff. :) At 10:30, back to class. At 11 or 11:30 (depending on the day), the team went to devotions with the after care staff, otherwise known as the mentors.

By the way, those mentors. Wow. They are amazing.

They are a huge reason why these last three weeks were so impactful to me. There was such a spirit of love and acceptance among them that I felt like they were family after only the first week.  I felt so at home when we worshiped and talked about the Word together; it was the highlight of my day every day. They work as volunteers, so they don't get paid to do what they do, pouring out their lives every day for these kids who stay for after care. They plan games, Bible stories, worship, and other fun activities for the kids, willing to dance and be silly and crazy with them just to make a difference in their lives. They constantly live as Christ-like examples before these children and this community, and their lives point not only the kids to Jesus, but also me and my team. I cannot express how much they encouraged me not just with their words, but with their lives and testimonies. They will always be close to my heart.

After devotions we had lunch with the kids, which was usually pap (a porridge made from ground maize) and some kind of meat and sauce on top, usually with a vegetable like cooked spinach or mashed sweet potatoes on the side. It was different at first, but I got used to it quickly and learned to really enjoy their food. :)

Chicken liver! Yum! :)

We then commenced after care activities, which were different every day. Some days we had a Bible story or games, but my favorite days were when we had praise and worship and danced with the kids! SO much crazy fun. :) Then we went to our assigned classes and helped with homework until Billiam arrived at 3:30 to take us home and our host families picked us up. Very full days! So much learning, so much fun, and so many challenges. And I am thankful for all of it.

God did some really powerful things in my heart these past few weeks. I learned so much it's hard to process it all. Well, first of all, I learned to dance! And not just any dancing; I learned some South African tribal dances! Dancing in front of people is something I have NEVER been comfortable with. For whatever reason, I always felt judged. But this trip is about getting out of my comfort zone, and I definitely did! (Dancing like a fool to Party in the USA? Yes, definitely out of my comfort zone. :D ) But I think dancing is something God wanted to use in my life to help me discover my freedom. Those children taught me so much, not only about dancing, but about freedom. Children aren't concerned with impressing others; they just dance for the joy of it. If it brings fun and bonding with others, who cares if you look like an idiot? Oh, to be more like a child. :)

Similarly, I learned how to be vulnerable. Specifically, that it's okay to be vulnerable. We all have vulnerabilities, but it's allowing the Lord to use our weaknesses for His glory that makes the difference. And He can't use them very well if we only ever want to hide them. I am learning to trust myself completely to my perfect Father, and not to people's imperfect perceptions of me. Learning that it's okay to let my guard down and just be me, because I'm already accepted in Christ. I'm not perfect, but I am perfectly loved! I am free to rest in His love and expose my weaknesses to Him,  because I'm covered by grace.

Exposing your heart (in the right circumstances) can be painful, but it's so freeing and healing for the soul. It's a good pain, a growing pain. It's allowing God to tear the mask off your heart that you used to make yourself feel comfortable around others and appear well. It's allowing the Healer to rip the bandage off your festering wound so He can breathe life and healing into the pain. Because hiding our wounds never helped anything.

But when we allow the growing pain and self finally gets out of the way, joy and love can flow freely in your relationships. Your focus is on enjoying and blessing others, instead of always trying to hide your flaws and appear good enough. There is so much freedom to just love and be loved, which is what we were created for anyway. Once you get past the pain, you discover the blissful freedom on the other side. Your heart is unburdened. You are free. It's amazing, and so worth it.

Singing "I've got the joy down in my heart" with my precious Joy. <3

Dear dear Brian.  :)

 Over all, I'm learning what exactly this "abundant life" really is that Christ offers us. It's something that can't be taught, it must be experienced through the Holy Spirit.

So, those are my deep thoughts. I hope they can bring you encouragement in some way!

Tomorrow we are off for the next adventure with Jesus! We are leaving for Darling, a small farming community in the Western Cape tomorrow; it will be about a 20 hour bus ride and we will arrive Thursday afternoon! We will be working with youth and children there, and it will be a lot more intense! I'm so excited! Prayers for the journey are appreciated! Thank you SO much to all of you who have so generously supported me through prayers and donations on this journey!

Friends, keep pressing into freedom, resting in Perfect Love, and discovering the fullness of life that Christ died to give us! <3

John 10:10 The Message

"I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of..."